This Side of Me
by Sakura-Chan1345
Summary: He was Popular, she wasn't. She was poor, hated her life and hated her family. He had everthing, looks, the girl, money. What happens when they formally meet. Will their worlds be turned upside down? Can they love eachother? HighSchool Fic. UXM
1. Prologue

Preps Vs. Goths

R&R

Disclaimer: I do not own Sailor moon.

**Prologue**

He was walking down the hallway, his girlfriend on one arm and lots of guy friends on the other. His smile was charming, his clothes impeccable, and his hair short cut and styled, but long enough for a girl to run her fingers through it.  
Best of all, his face was the most handsome one she'd seen in her life. His skin was tanned from his many weekends in Florida with his parents. The whole way he moved screamed money and high class. He always had the coolest shades, the latest styles, and his own brand new car and bike. But it wasn't any of these things that made her heart race, she didn't know what it was that made her love him. So many things about him screamed for attention, but also in warning. She couldn't do this. The only problem with him was that he always had the most popular girl on his arm. He had everything, all the girls he wanted to hang out with, all the cool friends. He was constantly throwing parties and doing bad deeds with his pals. But still, there was just something about him that drove her crazy.

She didn't know what it was… not his charm, not his money, not his incredible personality and gorgeous looks. The very thought of him made her heart race and her breathing stop, though when he walked passed her, she couldn't breathe at all, the scent of his expensive after-shave overpowering, but subtle. She let the breath out as he turned the corner and began to breathe normally. Her two best friends didn't know, and she wanted to keep it that way. She'd never fallen for anybody and that kind of thing would ruin her rep.

Her rep, that was the most important secret to keep. They always wore black. Make up and everything. Some people called them Goths, but they really weren't. In fact, they scared most people. Minako had a way of getting under people's skin; Rei was an awesome martial artist. And Usagi was free style. But each were equally different. Rei hated to fight, Minako never fought and Usagi loved it. The adrenaline rush was beautiful, the feeling of slinging some idiot over her shoulder without trying was incredible.

All three laughed at love.  
Which was why her secret had to be kept because, inside, they where very soft. If someone could get under their skin and make them feel the same way, it would be disastrous. Either way, they where so used to pushing others away, it didn't matter. And they where best friends, living every waking hour with the other, whether in practice or in school or hanging out. Minako was dressed head to toe in completely concealing baggy black. Her hair was always pulled back because it was platinum blond and she didn't want to dye it black. Rei was just the opposite, leather miniskirt, short sleeves, and low necks. And she always let her hair flow in its glory of deepest raven black. Usagi wore something similar to the other two, long pants that accented her legs, letting her hair flow, but pulled back. It was in a pony tail, but it also hid its' natural length. She'd wound thin braids around and around, making her hair look like it would be to the middle of her back when it had been grown out to the floor. Her shirt was almost a black chain mail looking shirt that was incredibly see through. Underneath, she wore a black sports bra so it would conceal everything.

They called themselves the 3DA. Which mean't the 3 Dark Angels.

An awkward name, but it suited them, so they liked it.

They'd grabbed their books now and started heading toward the exit. Walking out the front door and walking down the stairs without incident. Everyone parts as they walk passed, crossing themselves and cringing as if they where demons. They loved it.

"Yo! Rena!"

Only one person had the nerve to call her that. Well, also the only one that would talk to her outside of her little group. She growled in rage, her anger building as she began to speed her pace up. He ran up behind them and threw an arm over her shoulder, leaning on her casually. His smile was charming as always, his dark brown hair slicked back  
from his somewhat handsome face. She loathed him.

"Hey, slow down, I might start thinking you where trying to get away." She rolled her eyes and pushed the arm off her shoulder disdainfully.

"Gee, imagine that." She muttered under her breath. He laughed, like always.

"Ah, come on, you don't really mean that, do you? Considering we're soul  
mates and everything.

"He said it so casually, as if it where somehow true. He caught her shoulder and brought her around again swiftly. She could see the snobby or popular group was watching with interest how this would turn out. Mamoru was there with them.

"Don't touch me." She warned menacingly and he smiled again, moving in closer.

"Princess, you know I'm crazy about you. Just give it up, one date?" he was pleading as if he thought he was gonna get it, too. Well, he did, but not the way he would have liked.

"Get away from me." She stated and backed away a step before he caught her arm. She turned, flinging him over one shoulder and he landed sprawled on the cement. His few friends, dressed similarly in black, came forward to protect their leader. Rei automatically pushed Minako back.

"Stay out of this, Mina. We'll take care of It." the blond nodded and the two  
fighters stepped up.

"Mamoru, let's go." His girlfriend's voice floated over to them as they circled each other, followed by his laugh.

"No, I want to see this. I bet fifty bucks the girls win."

"You're on, man." On of his buddies shot back.

Usagi grinned evilly, making one leap back in fear. One lunged toward her face and she ducked, turning and knocking the feet out from under him. Another grabbed her back, but she grabbed both arms and twisted maliciously until he yelped and let go. She saw Rei throw a double sidekick and jump into a spinning roundhouse. Two left, each faced the other two. They where the strongest, reserved for last just in case. But the boy that had started it stood, and put a hand on one of their shoulders to stop them.

"Ah, ah, ah, guys. No one hurts my angel, catch my drift?" his eyes glinted like hard steal and the others backed down.

"Until next time, dearest." He nodded toward Usagi and she scoffed.

"Get your cowardly carcass away from me." She grunted.

He just turned and walked away as his friends picked themselves up off the ground behind the two. She bared her teeth to one, and he ran away screaming. Laughing evilly, the two turned and grabbed their books from the third before turning and  
looking at the preppies.

"Oh, look at the high and mighty over there." Rei chuckled as Usagi smiled.

"Oh, but, if we fight, we might brake a nail." She stated dramatically as Minako started laughing.

"Coming from someone who has perfect nails, that doesn't make much sense, Usa." The other blond shrugged and turned as the others followed.

"It's not my fault, I got cursed with my mother's hands." Minako crossed both arms over herself and scoffed.

"Ya, even when you do play guitar, it doesn't break them." She stopped and put a hand over her best friends mouth before shooting a glance back at the staring snobs.

"Mina, shut up! You know that stupid preppy talent shows coming up, don't say a thing about it!" she looked down bashfully and nodded.

"Sorry, I forgot."

"Don't sweat it, Usagi, it's not like they have enough brains to figure it out. You know how dumb they are. " The blond nodded and began walking again.

The next morning a knock came at the door, so Usagi went to answer it. The other two where sitting on the couch eating chips and looking over some new styles to wear the next week. Opening the door, she almost gasped, but stopped herself. Nothing could shock her more then this. He flipped his shades up and smiled.

"Hey, Usagi right?" she gave him a curious look before glancing back at the others.

"What do you want?" he smiled again, even though her tone would have scared anyone else off.

"I need to ask a favor." She began to chuckle at this.

"Hey, girls, the king of snobby preps has come to ask for a favor." The other two looked up before braking into laughter.

"So, uh, what is this…'favor'?" he looked a little unsteady after being laughed at like that, but he remained cool on the outside.

"We need some people to play guitars and drums and stuff for the performers." She looked back as Rei dropped the magazine and took hold of Minako's neck. She snickered and shrugged.

"As a favor? Kiss it off." She moved to close the door, but he stopped it with a hand.

"Come on, there is no one else in this town that can play." She shrugged her indifference.

"Maybe you could import some of the ones from another town with all that snob money you got shoved up your butt." She heard the other two laugh again. He looked even more unsure then last time. She was getting a kick out of this one.

"Ah, heck, you're fun enough to tease. What do you think, girls?" she turned back and they stuck fingers down their throats.

"No way, make him pay." She turned back again and shrugged.

"You heard them."

"Anything you want." He blurted and her jaw dropped.

"No way, seriously? Dang, I could use a new guitar. Hey, Rei, didn't you snap a string this morning?"

"Ya, why, what's he offering?"

"Anything we want. I say we go for it. We could use a new sound system." Already, he felt his wallet shrinking. Minako jumped up.

"Oh, ya! I'm getting a whole new drum set."

"You guys want to?" they shrugged and she turned back, smiling this time.

"Ok."

"Seriously?" she laughed and nodded.

"Does it sound like we're kidding?" he smiled and looked over at his car parked across the street and nodded.

"Great, you guys want to go pick them out now?" Minako and Rei glanced at each other before jumping up and running out the door.

"I guess that's a yes." Usagi stated simply and grabbed her shades before following them out and leaving him standing on her porch. He shrugged and walked up behind her.

"How good are you guys, think you can handle hard rock?" she laughed and glanced over at him.

"Don't tell me you preppies have good taste?" he chuckled and nodded.

"We're not as bad as you make us to be. What kind of stuff do you guys play?" she smirked and opened the back door of his camero.

"You mean band names or categories?" he shrugged and the other two smiled as they climbed in.

"Metallica, hemrage, Linkin Park, slipknot, limp biskit, creed, almost any hard rock band you can name." He nodded and opened the front door before slipping in. The first thing they saw was the other person.

"Makoto, this is Usagi, Minako and Rei, guys, my girlfriend, Makoto." She looked back and smiled sweetly.

"Hi, guys!" she chirped happily. Three blank faces stared back, the shear lack of emotion already scaring her.

"Optimistic." She stated and he chuckled.

"Be nice, I have a feeling this is our only chance for help." Makoto rolled her eyes and flipped the shades over them again. Rei leaned over to Mina and whispered gently.

"What? We're not all preppies on the inside? Why, that's absurd!" Minako giggled and passed it along to Usagi. She only smirked and crossed both arms over herself.

"How long you willing to spend on this, Mamo-Chan?" she asked, tapping the back  
of his chair with her foot. She saw the aggravated look on his face, but hid her evil chuckle until he answered.

"Before I buy a thing, you guys have to play for us. I don't want to be buying two thousand dollars worth of equipment just so you can play twinkle,  
twinkle."

The other two broke into fits of laughter and she let loose that evil smile as she looked out the window.

"We'll probably blow you away, pretty boy."

Usagi saw Makoto move and watched as she lay her hand gently over his. Their fingers intertwined together and she hid the pang of shear jealousy from the others. If anything, she could convince herself he was just another bozo and get over him. They pulled up at an expensive music shop and got out together. Some of the other preppies where already they're, looking for musicians that might live around the place. They walked in together, all five of them. When they saw Mamoru and Makoto, they smiled, but when the three Goths walked in behind them, they looked horrified.

"Hey, Motoki." Mamoru smiled and they clasped hands quickly. The other's eyes  
where fixed on Serena.

"Do you have any idea who you brought with you?" he asked quietly and the  
other nodded. Serena saw opportunity.

"I mean, I heard they where sexy, but I didn't think they would be this much…"  
she grabbed a guitar like hers, only newer and better and walked up behind him. Tapping his shoulder, he turned and she pressed herself up against him, tipping her head to the side curiously.

"Would you teach m to play?" she asked softly, the other looked scared and intrigued.

"Sure." He breathed, forgetting he didn't know how. Mamoru was horrified by it and stared.

"You mean you really can't play?" her laugh was evil and she shoved him away rudely as the other girls cackled like jackals.

Rei already chose one and Minako sat herself down beside a drum set, trying a few beats on it. An old man came out from the back, seeing the scary girls handling his equipment.

"Please, only experienced musicians can handle those properly, put them down  
before you break them."

H scrambled forward desperately and her laugh heightened. He grabbed her arm and her eyes exploded with hellish fire.

"Get away from me, old man." She flung him aside uncaringly and set a few fingers on the board. The thing erupted in pure sound. Her fingers where moving on down the board so fast, they almost couldn't see it. Rei broke in with a bass part and Minako picked up the beat. It was Linkin Park, some of the guys already lip-sinking the words. They played it with such an accuracy, it sounded just like the background music behind the singers. They went about half way through and stopped dead.

"What do you think, girls, I like this one." Serena commented and looked over at the old man. His jaw had dropped in amazement.

"That is, if the geezer thinks I'm musician enough to handle It.," she stated pointedly, her  
eyes narrowing. Some of the preppy guys took a step back as the others  
smirked.

"Well, I kinda like this drum set, but I don't like the sticks. They're not black like my other ones." Rei rolled her eyes and fingered hers gently.

"Cry, Mina. I don't know, I want a different one then this, it doesn't match my style."

"Usagi, I really need your help." He came rushing up to her, his breathing labored.

"I don't know what to do about my girlfriend." He glanced back at Makoto with worry written on his features. She laughed shortly and he looked  
back at her.

"Why are you asking me?" he moved to speak, but she quieted him by raising a hand.

"I have known love only once when I was five, and I realized what it was for the first time when my mom died of cancer. Ten years later, my brother killed himself with a vast drug overdose, my father hasn't come home in a month and I have a nagging feeling he's never coming home. I have never fallen in love with anyone and the same visa versa. No one has ever cared about me since my mom except for two schoolgirls who come from the same background. And to tell you the truth, I seriously doubt anyone will ever love me. When you talk about needing help with your girlfriend I can't even give you a good guess. But, by the way she's been acting, I'd say she's in love with Motoki."

He took a step back the moment she explained her  
background and another when she told him her opinion.

"You've never been in love?" he asked quietly. She shrugged and nodded.

"I'm  
sorry, that's terrible." She laughed again.

"Who said I ever wanted it. The only joy I get in life is playing my guitar, beyond that, in wouldn't give a crap if the world collapsed. Now, do you  
love Makoto?" she asked and he nodded.

"Then let her go. You want her to be happy well she is when she's with Motoki." He nodded numbly and she flipped her shades back on before turning and beginning to walk away.

"Usagi?" he called over to her. She turned and looked back at him.

"I'm sorry." she shook her head, her eyes glinting behind her shades.

"I don't want your sympathy, Mamoru, that wasn't the point of telling you. My point was how the heck should I know what to do? I don't care about anyone but my friends. If I die tomorrow, all the better." She moved to leave, but looked back at him again.

"Don't tell anyone."

Ok ok I know Linkin Park isn't a hard rock band but they are so awesome that I decided to add them in =]

To others who read this before I decided that since it was so long to break it up into chapters and edit a bit. I hope this version is much better this time around =]

I'll be adding Chapter 2 tomorrow of tonight if I'm feeling generous!

R&R

=]

-Sakura-Chan


	2. Chapter 1

Preps Vs. Goths

R&R

Disclaimer: I do not own Sailor Moon

**Chapter One: **

That night, Mamoru went to Usagi's house. He didn't know why but he felt at least some compassion in her voice when she spoke of her bother and mother. Maybe she wasn't ice all the way through, if he could get inside, if he could see what she really was behind the mask, he could finally figure her out.

He didn't go to the door; he crawled around back to her open window. She stood in the middle of her room, makeup taken off and hair let loose, playing her guitar. She was extremely beautiful like that, come to think of it. Her hair was beyond incredibly long and just washed so it shined like sunlight. She was playing the last few cords of 'beautiful' as she stood there, her fingers moving at an inhuman pace.  
Her voice lifted for the first time he'd heard it. Like silver when she sang, it was beautiful. But the words did her shame; somehow, it just didn't fit anything anymore. 

Beautiful is empty  
Beautiful is free  
Beautiful loves no one 

She went on like that for a while before just stopping and setting the brand new guitar on its stand. He noticed then, her clothes where cotton candy pink! He almost laughed, but remembered he couldn't let her see him. She just glowed in pink; too, it really brought out her pale skin. And her fingernails, though painted black, really where perfect. Even Makoto couldn't get a manicure like that.  
She sat down on her bed now, drawing her knees up against her and wrapping both arms around them before burying her head in them. Then, he heard the most astonishing sound he could think of. Usagi was crying. Well, why shouldn't she be, isn't she human, too? But still, it sounded alien coming from her. She was always an ice cube, only smiled when she was mocking someone or getting payment. And yet, here she was, collapsed on her bed in tears, her beyond ridiculously tiny body raking with sobs. He almost couldn't believe his ears.  
She looked up, wiping the tears from her face before reaching over and grabbing one of the many picture frames on her desk. Her face contorted and she threw it as hard as she could at the wall. The frame shattered and the glass fell in waves. 

"That's what I say to you, dad!" she screamed frustratedly before grabbing  
another.

She threw them all, naming grandparents and aunts and uncles until finally coming to her last. She stopped before she threw it and looked at it softly, her eyes glistening and a couple tears fell against the glass on this one.

"Mommy." She whispered, her finger touching softly the tears and  
smearing them around.

"It wasn't your fault, I know. But the others, the ones that ditched me on purpose; I hate them." 

She wiped her tears and set the picture back against her desk where it had been before smiling lightly. Standing, she walked over to the light switch and shut it off. The room was plunged into darkness immediately and she stumbled over to her bed before climbing in. she was out in a matter of minutes. He climbed in through the open window, careful not to hit anything. She didn't stir at all as he lifted the covers gently to see under the bed.  
Nothing.

Standing, he turned to the desk and drew out a drawer gently. He found an old book there, one that was tied with a slight silken string of silver. Untying it, he brought out his keys and flashed the tiny flashlight on the cover. It was blank. Opening up to the first page, he began to read. 

'Shingo died today. It was too many drugs, I knew he'd gotten his hands on them again, but I didn't know how much. The strange thing is, I feel nothing. No sorrow. Is this even human? Am I? I feel no sorrow for death, I feel sorrow for nothing anymore. Mom was my only true friend; I knew that from the start. And she will always be my only true friend.'  
He looked up again, this was her diary. Turning to the last page, he saw the ink was fresh, but the book was finished. He could finish it in one night, he knew he could. Climbing back out the window and careful not to lose the string, he crept away from the ran sack house until he was far enough to run. 

'I don't know whether to laugh or cry anymore. Losing two of the most important people in my life is hard. I've never had this happen before obviously, but I also don't know anyone else it has happened to either. I know I'm not the only one, but it seems like I am. It feels like it's my fault.  
Maybe if I hadn't been such a bad child, mom wouldn't have gotten sick in the first place. Maybe if I hadn't come at all, it would be different. Mom would still be alive and Shingo wouldn't have gotten hooked up with those creeps down the street. Maybe then, dad would talk to me because he sure doesn't now. I still remember before mom got sick. It's hard to imagine, but I do. I remember everything looked new and fresh and beautiful, I thought it would be that way forever. But now I know much better. I know that the world only masks itself as beautiful, but in reality, it is more ugly then I am. I can see myself darken every time I look in the mirror. And I find that it's better this way. When people talked about Shingo today, I found I didn't care anymore. I like being cold like this, I feel nothing. I couldn't care less about love, I haven't felt it in ten years, and hate I can live without easy. Sorrow? I don't even think of it. I've had more then my share. I know now I  
am destined to be alone. And I find I don't mind that.  
There's something about me, some people say, something that I've tried to hide. They say I could still be an innocent child and the beautiful girl I'd been ten years ago. But I know that's not true. Innocence is a lie pushed on the youth to try and conceal the truth from them. I will never be so naïve nor innocent again. I can see it now tonight as I look in the mirror. My own face disgusts me.

What is beauty? I wonder that now, if there had been such a thing once long ago. Is it the thing that makes the other girls my age appealing to the guys or is it something from inside that comes out as you age? How is it the earth can look beautiful to one eye, and terrible to another?  
I ask because I found a picture of my mother today. She was very, very pretty. At least my father said so. I kept the picture, I never want to let go. It's the only thing I have left of the soft inside I once had. It's the only love a creature like me would be allowed to have.  
With the question of beauty, I ask another. What is love? What is caring? What is it that makes someone feel this way about another? all the other girls are usually found with a boy around her age that holds her and comforts her. What is comfort? Someone my age should know, but I don't. Father never gave me comfort when mom died, or when Shingo died. But does it really matter anymore? He's become more distant then anything else. He  
drinks all night and sleeps all day. How does a person live like this? I wore simple black today for the first time. Many asked if it was for Shingo, and I didn't know how to answer them. Was it for Shingo? Or was it for me? In black, I feel like a shadow somehow, one that could slip in and out of the world without a trace. It gave me at least some power. I found I didn't mind that color.

Like yesterday, I wore black again. People think it's because of mourning for my brother, but I feel nothing for him. Am I supposed to feel the same way when mom died, or should it be different? I don't know or care anymore. I haven't spoken to father since last night. And that I also don't care for. If he has decided to continue alone, so be it. Nothing will have changed for the both of us.' 

'I met someone today.  
Her name is Rei Hino and she wears black too. I wonder what her story is. I wonder if she can answer my questions. If not, it doesn't matter. I could pass into the shadows forever and not mind. There is nothing left for me here, no mother, no brother, no father. I'm all alone in my own world. This girl, Rei. She knows things, she talked to me today at lunch. She was quiet, like me, dark, like me, and alone like me. But, she found out about my guitar that used to be moms. And she offered me another one, a better one. I know how to play a few songs, one's I've taught myself on my free time. But, I know I can learn faster with a new guitar. She offered to come over some time and help a little, her father gave her lessons before running out on their starving family. Her mom died shortly after and she'd been left with her grandpa. She doesn't talk much about what happened between then and now, but I'm no it curious enough to go looking for it.'

'I got in my first fight today.  
The rush of excitement was the most fearsome and wonderful thing's I'd ever felt. The boy, I don't know his name, he hit me. It stung a lot, I didn't know if it would bruise or not. But I got mad, I got really mad and hit him back. He fell really hard against the tiles of the school and cracked his head open. It was between classes, so no one saw me do it. And I was grateful. If it came down to it, my father wouldn't protect me from the school or cops. When he woke up, he couldn't remember anything. And I was glad again because then he couldn't tell on me. And he didn't get so close the next time. People started talking, too. They say that I hit him and broke his head open on my knee, but it wasn't on purpose. They say I'm turning into a demon and that I should get some help. But I don't want help, I welcome the darkness with open arms. Anything but feeling the pain again. I couldn't handle the pain one more time. It would kill me. As much as I long for death, I fear it as well. But I will lose that fear in time. Then, I will have the courage to end it.  
And if I never get that courage, I don't know what will happen to me. But I also don't really care. I've found what beauty is. It's an illusion, a mask that those lucky enough to have money to afford it. Have you ever noticed all the rich people are more appealing to the eye then those who aren't rich?  
It makes me wonder sometimes. What is the thing that separates the popular from the unpopular? Is there some invisible boundary between the two worlds, or is it just prejudice? Whatever the case, I don't want to be popular like everyone else. I am different, and I like it that way Dad didn't come home last night. Should I be worried? Would it be inhuman to worry? I don't know anymore. I don't really care either. If human means to feel, then I am not one of them. I am something very different. I feel nothing but anger. Even then, sometimes I don't even feel that. And does one life really matter, or do ten matter more? Would it make any difference if one life was snuffed out before their time, or would it be the same? Would it cause some time-space dimensional breach or would that person even be remembered? What does it matter if one life goes bad, doesn't it matter more that everyone else turned out good? I have too many unanswered questions, too many things that I think about all the time. Though I walk around the school with hundreds of other kids, I feel so alone. Is my destiny to be alone like this forever? Will I even have friends besides Rei? Wont anyone care if I live or not? It's so depressing to think that if I died, my father wouldn't know and Rei probably wouldn't care. But that doesn't matter anymore, no one matters but Rei. She's the only reason  
I've held on this long. If Kenji doesn't come back tonight, I won't know what to do. I have no job and no money, if he doesn't come back at all, I'll be kicked out of my own house. I don't think I could handle that on top of everything else.'

The next day Mamoru stormed into Usagi's room, grabbed her arm and pulled her toward the back of the house before she could object. He dragged her to his house walking into a room in the back, he shut the door and looked at her. She seemed very curious as to what he was doing, but not enough to ask. Grabbing a wash cloth, he turned and ran some water over before squeezing it out and turning to her. 

"Mamoru, what are you doing?" there was cautiousness now, her backing away from him. Her back landed softly against the wall behind her as he took her shoulder in hand. Lifting the cloth, he lay it gently over the right side of her face and wiped away the dark makeup.

"What the heck?" she nearly screamed and put a hand over that side of her face before he could see. 

He took her hand and pulled it away from her face, but she looked away, hiding the side that was cleaned. With the other hand, he took her chin and brought it around. The difference was staggering, one scary, the other incredibly beautiful. She slapped his hands away and hid behind her own again. 

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?" she demanded. 

"I want to see you without that mask." He whispered and lifted a hand to bring down her own. But she saw his movement and ducked under his arm. 

"That doesn't mean you can just do whatever you want!" 

"That doesn't mean you have to be afraid of me." He stated back. Her look was evil now and she watched his every movement.

"Usagi, come on, this is silly." 

"Then let me be silly, but don't, don't, take away this!" her voice raised a pitch in anger. He had cornered her now, her back against the wall and the door on the other side of the room. Faster then he thought he could go, he grabbed her and wiped the remainder away from the other side. Automatically, she covered her face in both hands and turned away from him. When he moved to grab her again, she held out a hand and stopped him.

"You stay away from me!" she screamed, but he ignored her, grabbing that same hand and whipping her around. She slapped him hard, but he shrugged it off and pushed both arms up against the wall. She struggled, of course, but couldn't over power him like this.

"There, I'm ugly, see? Leave me alone!" she kicked his shin and he winced, but remained still. 

"I think you're pretty." He stated. She no less then snarled at him then. 

"You have bad taste." He chuckled and let go of her. She rubbed her wrists gingerly to get the feeling back in them, but didn't try to hide anything anymore.

"Can I go now?" she asked rudely and he shook his head. 

"No, I'm still curious about your hair." her eyes glinted like hard stones and she punched him hard when he got close enough. He fell back wheezing and caught his breath, but she hadn't moved. He came forward again and she kicked the feet out from under him. 

"Don't even think about touching my hair." she stated, but he smiled. 

"Fine." He raised both hands in defense and took a step back. 

"Find anything interesting in my journal, or just trying to figure out what I am?" he stood there in shock. He'd put it back where it had been exactly, how could she have figured out he took it.

"I'm not stupid, Mamoru, you forgot the ribbon." 

"I-I wanted to know more about you." She laughed menacingly, her biker gloves stretching as she made a fist of both hands. 

"Oh, why? So you can tell all you stupid preppy friends so they'll have a good laugh? Oh, gee, see that girl over there? She isn't human! Hahaha."

He shook his head in frantic defense. The door slid open silently and two pairs of eyes looked in at the two. 

"No, not at all. It was just that when you told me about your mom, it was…I  
don't know, there was feeling in your voice. I wanted to know what  
happened." 

"You ever think that maybe I'm like this because of people like you?" her answer stung like no other and he winced at the blow.

"Did you find what you where looking for or what?" his movements where fast like before, but totally unexpected.

Both his huge arms wrapped around her tiny body and held her tight against him. She gasped in surprise, her defenses falling before she could catch them. 

"That and more." He whispered gently. Curiosity flooding her gaze as she looked up at him before realizing how close he was. Danger alarms where ringing in her ears already.

"I'm falling for you." His whisper was quieter then the first and kissed her gently against the lips. She was ultimately shocked at this and slapped him hard enough that he let go of her. 

"JUST WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?" she roared, rubbing the impression of his lips away from hers. 

"Usagi, I'm serious. This is no joke." He came forward again, tracing her jaw line before she could slap him away again. 

"Stay away from me! How hard is that to understand?" his smile was warm and  
gentle when he took her hands gently and slipped the biker gloves from her long elegant fingers. 

"Why do you hide, what are you so afraid of?" he asked gently. There was a great deal of fear in her eyes and in the way she moved, but she fought it every step. 

"I'm not afraid of anything." Her voice quivered in it as she spoke, though. He smiled, his hands still wrapped around hers firmly but gently. He moved in closer and saw her eyes widen in pure fear like a cornered doe. 

"Now you are the hunted, Usagi, is that what scares you?" 

"I'm not afraid of anything!" she repeated but her breathing quickened against her words. 

"You're afraid of love." He whispered gently and she shook her head frantically. 

"Not afraid, I don't want it." 

"Yes you do." His whispers kept getting softer and softer as his face inched  
closer to hers. 

"No I don't." she was losing conviction even as she spoke, her hands trembling even as he held them.

"Mamoru, stop." 

"Never." He whispered silently before capturing her delicate lush pink lips against his. Her nails dug into the skin of his hands and he yelped in pain, breaking the connection. She wiped furiously at her lips, wishing she hadn't felt that it had never happened. But it had, and she knew it had. And she could never forget that now.

"Usagi, please let me love you." He whispered, now over the aching pain in his hands. 

"I DON'T WANT TO BE LOVED! Why can't you see that, why don't you understand!  
I hate love! I don't want to feel it! I don't want to feel anything!" he could see the tears standing out in her eyes now as they looked at each other from opposite sides.

"Just stick to your preppy princess and leave me alone." 

She walked away, shoving past him roughly and out the door. She didn't see the two girls staring after her, but she heard him call back. 

"Usagi, please come back." She ignored him and hid her face with a hand as she walked out the front door. 

"Whoa, Usagi, what's wrong?" Rei asked.

She didn't answer, but stomped out the front door and let it slam behind her before walking home. He watched her go from beside Rei. She gave him an evil look before reaching back, taking both guitars and going out after her. Minako walked up behind him, Makoto on her tail. 

"Makoto…" he started, but she stopped him. 

"We've grown apart, Mamoru. We no longer care for each other like before. Go after her."

He glanced out the door and watched as Lita nodded. He smiled his thanks and followed after the blond.

So is it getting better =]

What does Usagi really want? Hmm you'll have to wait and see.

R&R

-Sakura-Chan =]


	3. Chapter 2

**Preps Vs. Goths.**

Thank you everyone who reviewed.

About the complete thing I changed it to In Progress. At first this was a very very long one shot but then I decided breaking it up into Chapters would be better so I just forgot to change the complete. And yes I put Lita in at the end I'm sorry lol I'll change it Makoto eventually.

R&R

Chapter Two

He was used to walking into her house unannounced, it was always like that since they'd agreed to the talent show. She was asleep on the couch, her makeup renewed and her hair re-done. It looked the same as before, but a little less mangled.  
He brushed the long silk strands from her pale neck and smiled gently. She actually looked peaceful in her sleep. She stirred lightly at his touch and moaned, shifting into another position. He leaned down to peck her cheek lightly. Unfortunately, her hand whipped up, grabbing his throat before he could get close enough. It was cutting off his air and she growled. 

"Get away from me, freak." She chucked him as far away from her as she could before raising her head drowsily.

"Mamoru," she spat the name like poison and grunted,

"I came to apologize." He stated and set her gloves on the table in front of him. She scoffed and looked out the window. 

"No, you came because Makoto said it was ok." She paused as he looked down. 

"Well, I don't think it's ok, I think that you are an egotistical, arrogant jerk. I can't stand you or your kind, they make me sick." 

"You mean humans?" he asked softly, remembering her words in the journal. She smirked and nodded. 

"Want to know why? You feel everything; you care and wallow in your lies until you're in so deep you think them to be true. But they're not and you'll never realize till it's too late." She was looking out the window now, her eyes still glinting like hard stones as she spoke.

Her tone was dead and haunted, her arms wrapping around herself to ward off the chill. 

"Maybe they aren't lies." He whispered gently and saw her gaze shift and land on him. 

"They are, you're too deluded and naive to see it for yourself." He shook his head and stood, but didn't move closer to her. 

"But suppose, just for a minute, that you're wrong. Suppose you don't see it because you don't want to see it. Maybe the lies are real and the truth is a lie? Say that love does exist and this side of you is only protection."

"What do you mean 'this side of me', this is me." He nodded and kneeled down in front of her. 

"Ya, but just for a second, pretend that this is a mask and the real you isn't what you think it is." She scoffed and looked away. 

"You're a fool." He smiled and nodded. 

"Ok, now let's look at it from your side, everything is a lie told to us as children to hide the truth and beauty doesn't exist and love doesn't exist and caring is a figment of the imagination. But then, how do you explain a rose? How can you explain the smell of fresh rain or two people standing under an umbrella holding each other? How do you explain what you feel for Minako and Rei?" 

He could see a faint glimmer of the light he'd sent on her in her eyes, but it flickered and died out. 

"They're obviously of more worth then I am, therefore are put ahead of my needs." She stated simply and he nodded. 

"Ok, we'll go with that. But then, if you talk to Rei, she'll say the same thing about you and Minako and if you ask Minako, she'll say the same thing about you and Rei. How is one life measured lower then the next?" 

"I'm not having this conversation with you." She moved to leave, but he pushed her back down. 

"Now, just hear me out, Usagi. Look, I have a theory about you and that theory is that you feel cheated out of life because of Shingo and your mom and your dad. You felt only pain as a child, so, in turn, you feel only that same pain from the past now that you're older." 

"I don't know what you're talking about." she stated simply and he sat back to think a while longer. 

"Ok, now, say a puppy, for instance, is born in the streets and raised by the rule the strongest takes all, correct? As that puppy grows, that is the only rule he knows, even as an adult dog and an old dog if he survives that long." 

"You're saying I'm a dog, that's getting on my good side." She scoffed and sat back in the chair.

"Ok, here's my theory about you. You've never had it rough, you've never had a time in your life when someone has never lent you a shoulder to cry on or felt the pain of ultimate death. You know nothing of what it's like on your own, you know the concept of money and that it will get you through life. You've never been forced into a situation in which a split second could mean your death. You've never faced real life, all you know is your delusion that if you have money, nothing can get to you." 

"I will agree to that for the moment." He relented a bit, but still looked at her fiercely.

"You keep talking about being alone and having no one, but look. Do you think your mom would just forget you the second she died, or do you think that she's been watching over you to make sure you come out alive?" She looked down at him as he spoke, finding at least some truth in his words, but not enough to dwell on.

"Maybe you where supposed to grow up alone so you would be strong in the future, but I don't think anyone meant that you should scorn everything your parents taught you as a child." She nodded for him to continue, now slightly interested in what he was saying. 

"Now, just say for a moment that you don't hate love. Let's just say, for instance, that you're afraid of it because you don't understand how it works. But let me tell you something, it is real. More real then you and me and this world. I've felt it; I feel it even as I speak and no one fully knows how it works, all we know is that it is real. And whether you want to believe it or not, Usagi, you are human and you do feel things and you recognize that you do, but hide it from the outside world because you're afraid of what they would say." 

"That's enough of that, Mamoru, I feel like I'm talking to a psycho therapist." He chuckled, but didn't fight her. Instead, he turned and took her guitar down carefully. Handing it to her gently, he smiled. 

"I want you to play truly madly deeply really quick; I'm going to try something. Don't fight anything."

Her eyes narrowed and she set the guitar on her knee. Laying her fingers across the board, she began to strum out the opening cords, closing her eyes against the feelings it sent through her whenever she played. She wasn't watching and didn't notice the smile that played on his lips as he watched her, knowing she put her whole heart and soul into the music.  
A hand traced her jaw line and her eyes snapped open, she found she's lost control of her fingers and they where moving on their own. His face was so close to hers; she could feel his warm breath on her neck. She could feel herself pull away automatically, but his hand wrapped around behind her neck and kept her still. 

"Don't fight anything, this is an experiment." He reminded her gently and she gulped, the melody falling apart already.

"Concentrate on one thing, Usagi. The guitar, or me." He whispered softly, his lips grazing hers as he spoke, he was so close.

Immediately, her attention was focused on the guitar again and the melody returned, intertwining with harmony. But the second he kissed her gently, the very second his lips pressed against hers, her hands slid from the guitar and the song faded into nothingness.  
Small butterfly kisses, tiny little ones that made her heart jump in reaction. His other hand pushed hers away from the instrument and put it on the other side of the couch before placing that same hand against her face gently. Her heart was beating frantically, she couldn't focus on anything and her eyes closed against her will. 

She hated this, she hated everything about it. She hated how much he was making her feel emotions; she hated the feeling of his hands on her skin and the indent of his lips against hers. She hated herself for not pushing him away and she hated him for getting this close. But, she also liked it. Her arms ached to wrap around him and hold him close, her lips ached to kiss him back and make it deeper. She loved the way his hands fell along her neck and his lips where warm and gentle against hers. She felt her resolve breaking and almost reached up to hold him, but he pulled away. They where both breathless and she was flushed. No words would come; she was too deep in shock. 

"Why did you stop playing?" he asked softly and she looked up at him, her black lipstick smudged and her hand trying to wipe away all the extra black.  
Strangely enough, it wasn't on him, there was no evidence he'd kissed her at all. She was shaking bad, her hands trembling as she held them to her lips and looked out the window. 

"I-I…need to think…" she trailed off and stood shakily before walking back down the hallway. He heard her door close softly and sat down on the couch.

Monday.

He hadn't seen her yet but would soon enough. Rei said she was here, but was acting really weird. Good, he'd made her think some things through. He caught Makoto on the way and sent a friendly wink. She returned it and went back to Motoki's locker as he sat there. Motoki waved and Mamoru returned it, but was looking off down the hall. 

She stood there, getting her books out of her locker. Her two friends harping on some poor boy across the hallway but she didn't seem to be joining in their fun. Her eyes where glazed over and she moved away from them without a word. They always walked home together, but the other two hadn't seen her leave. He followed her and caught up as she turned the corner. Grabbing her arm kindly, he turned her around to face him. 

"Hey, you ok?" he asked, his eyes concerned. She looked away, but didn't fight his hand on her arm. 

"I'm fine." She whispered it so soft; he lifted her chin back to face him. 

"You sure? You didn't even want to patronize that kid back there." She sighed and reached up to move his hand away, but stopped as her fingers wrapped around his hand. It seemed her strength ended there. 

"I just didn't feel like it today, I guess." He nodded and glanced around. 

"Can I walk you home?" she shoved his hand away automatically and shook her head. 

"No, just stay away from me." She moved away from him at a quick walk, but couldn't shake him. As she walked out the front door, he stood next to her, silent and passive. She finally gave up and waked slowly as usual, but didn't look at him. 

"Yo! Preppy? Who said you get to hangout with my angel?" she glanced back and saw Kunzite grab Mamoru's shoulder. 

"Hey, Kun! I said he could, back off." She stated menacingly. His brown eyes went large and he whistled. 

"Whew, babe, you're defending a preppy? You must have something for the guy." She rolled her eyes and grabbed Mamoru's other arm before trying to drag him away.

"Well, he's obviously got more personality then you." She shot at him before turning and dragging him after. The large boy at there staring after them before laughing. 

"Good one!" They turned the corner and she automatically lit into him. 

"What do you think you're doing following me like that? Don't you realize how dangerous that guy can be? No, don't answer, I don't want to know." She waved off his attempt to redeem himself and sighed.

"Why can't you just leave me alone? What is your deal all the sudden?" 

"You know what it is, why ask?" he answered back and she sighed looking around the area before meeting his gaze again. 

"You're not my type." She stated and he laughed. 

"How would you know? You've never been on a date or seen what I'm like on one." He thought over that point for a while, as he looked her over.

"Besides, I really like the way you dress." 

"You have bad taste." She stated and he nodded. 

"Maybe you think so, but I'd rather have that then good taste if it gets me a date." She laughed lightly at that and looked on down the road. 

"You're a nice guy, Mamoru…" 

"Thanks." 

"Which is why I wouldn't go out with you if you paid me." She finished and turned, continuing on her way by herself. Or so she thought. 

"I know, that's why I'm not offering money for it. I don't want to force you, Usagi, I'd rather you come on your own."

"Don't hold your breath." 

"And what if I do?" she stopped, frustration in her tone. 

"Get out of my face about it, Mamoru. We don't have to do your stupid talent show thing, we could jut quit." She stated. He smiled and came forward, placing a quick I against her lips. 

"Ya, but you wont." She reached up and growled. 

"Don't kiss me." He smiled and took her waist in hand, bringing her closer. 

"Or what?" he asked, fingering her lower lip gently.

"Would you hit me like you did Saturday? I liked it, the challenge, it was sweet." His face seemed to hover closer then before and she gulped.

"How does it feel, Usagi? The hunter now hunted? Just give in to me, I won't leave till you do." 

"You take me for granted, Mamoru. I could have you on your back so quick, it make you wonder what happened." He smiled, his lips barely brushing hers. 

"Then hit me, enjoy the pain you bring." She was really scared now, and he knew it. 

"You've lost it…" she whispered and his smile turned wolfish. 

"Since I saw you fight." He finished for her and she tried to catch her breath. 

"One word and Kunzite would be all over you." She warned and he chuckled. 

"You think your little unwanted guard dog can take me out? Call for him, then." Her fear grew now and her voice seemed to just die inside of her. And he smiled in conquest.

"You can't, can you? Go that way and you'll give into him, go this way and you give in to me."

The shock of his lips against hers forced her to drop her books and he pulled her closer still. Her mouth opened to protest, but he didn't take advantage of it. It was too early for something like that, especially with this girl. But her lipstick tasted like blackberry and he enjoyed licking at them tenderly. Of course she fought him at first, but soon gave up and let him. Her lips were so stubborn against his now, but he liked even that challenge.

"Yo, Usa, where did you…go…" he pulled back and saw Rei and Minako come out from behind the corner. Glancing back, he saw her face as she looked away, a single tear fell from her beautiful blue eye and she shoved him away roughly.

Uh oh! Her friends caught them. Hope you enjoyed the chapter =]

Look forward to the next one.

Should I change the name to 'this side of me'? Let me know what you think.

R&R

-Sakura-Chan =]


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